6 Times He Made It Clear All He Wanted Was Sex; And You Ignored Him

Ladies, let’s be honest:  Sometimes we can create whole relationships in our minds. It’s in our nature to be dreamers, believers, hopeful minded. Well, there is a thin line between being encouraged and being down right dull when it comes to a man.

Sometimes we get lost in the possibility of what could be in a potential relationship, rather than facing the reality of what it really is (or isn’t). Don’t feel bad; we’ve all been there: memba Carrie and Big ( series not movie). We set ourselves up for failure, by expecting the best or the most out of a “situationship“, that is only supposed to be about one thing! I’m not saying that having casual- no- strings attached sex is okay, but if it’s what you signed up for, do yourself a fav-  stop looking for more. Because, what you’ll actually get, is something Im sure you didn’t sign up for- a broken heart💔. While some men can be under handed and deceitful in their intentions, there are those few instances where the writing was all up on the walls:

  1. In the beginning, he told you exactly what he wanted!

But you only heard what you wanted to hear. You omitted the clear direct honesty that he was spitting from go. Instead, you thought he had “trust issues”, and you could change him. Girl bye.

2. Before you guys took that dive into  bed; he reiterated exactly what he wanted.

But yet  again, you failed to take him seriously. Maybe you thought that once he got the goodies, he would now take you seriously. But here’s the thing: he won’t, because he made it clear exactly what he wanted and he’s gonna stick to his guns!

3. During sex, while he pleases you, he is limited in his intimacy with you. Almost sterile.

This isn’t to suggest that the sex is wack. Because it likely isn’t. However, it’s not wifey sex! He won’t even kiss you. Not even a peck. Because he is keeping up his side of the bargain: keeping things simple and unattached. He doesn’t want to send the wrong message.

4. He keeps you far away from his real life. 

He probably knows a lot about you, but you know little about him. And that’s because he keeps a wall up between you and his personal life. Again, he is dedicated to not sending mixed messages. Whataguy!

5. He avoids talking about the future with you.

He doesn’t want to sell you pipe dreams, so rarely will he talk about or plan anything in the future. He lives in the now with you.

6. His availability to you is very limited. And when he does make time for you, it’s usually just to, welp, have sex!

You never go on movie dates or out to eat. You know, normal couple stuff. Usually, when he’s making plans with you, it’s to find out when your next sexsion will occur.

So, if all or any of those 6 clues ring true to you and your guys situation and it doesn’t sit well with you, do something about it. Save yourself the disappointment, woman up and realize if you’re looking for more out of a man that has made his limited intentions with you clear; the only person getting played is you. Stop giving him your good good loving and save it for a more deserving soul.

You deserve the best babygirl! ❤

5 Things We Can All Learn From Lala Anthony About Bossing Up Through A Heartbreak

By now it’s no secret that one of our favorite #BlackLove couple is separated. Back in April news broke of Lala and Carmelo Anthony coming to an amicable agreement to go their separate ways after almost 7 years of marriage. While both Melo and Lala have rightly remained tight lipped about their current marital woes, like most instances: where there is smoke, there is likely fire. While, I’m sure we’re all rooting for this power couple; who have a ten year old son, Kiyan; to reconcile and work out their differences; one thing that has been endearing to watch from afar is how gracefully Lala has carried herself amid the mess. As a woman we know all too well the heartbreak she is facing right now, but even as the infidelity and out of wedlock baby rumors swirl- on Carmelo’s end- Lala remains seemingly resilient. While I am sure Lala is not exactly skating through this whole ordeal, she is certainly making it clear that the show must go on!

Here are five things we can all learn from La about handling our business as women all the while mending a broken heart💔:

Just Show Up!

Days after the news broke of the break down in her marriage, Lala was front and center at the Met Gala; which is possibly the most reported and photographed fashion event in the world. And there she was on the red carpet. And boy did she show up!! The dress was perfect. Stunning to say the least. Her skin was flawless and her body was on point. The following day the New York Daily Newspaper coveted front page featured Lala with the headline: ‘ Met Gala turns into La La Land’.  In a matter of one night the news shifted from broken hearted Lala to ‘Unbreakable’ Lala. Imagine if she chose to wallow in her sadness instead that night and did not show up? She changed the entire narrative of her story, just by showing up, and showing OUT!

Work Hard: Continue reading 5 Things We Can All Learn From Lala Anthony About Bossing Up Through A Heartbreak

#BeautyThursday: Beyonce Overlines Her Lips; And We LOVE!

There I was, aimlessly scrolling through my IG feed and: Eureka.

🤰🏽🏡 😂

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beyonce) on

Much to my delight, the Queen (Bey that is) uploaded an almost one minute long video, which included photo stills and actual recorded content. While BeyBey’s belly (currently carrying two tiny Carter’s) was front and center stage; my attention was fixed on Bey’s lips!Looking especially full and plump, I was intrigued.  Were her puckers swollen? (Not uncommon or unlikely for pregnancy, I’m sure). Was it injections? (Doubt it). Or was it an over lined lip????!!!  Seems, I wasn’t the only nosy rosy trying to figured out the mystery behind King Bey’s suddenly souped up lips; the internet seems to all be scratching their heads. Well, internet, you can stop thinking now, because, I think we can all agree, Mrs. Carters perfectly plumped lips are the courtesy of  a little bit of swollen (prego issues; Moms, we have all been there) and a lotta bit of overdrawn lips.

Well, with this being #BeautyThursday here at HUG Headquarters (aka, my bedroom desk), I thought this would be a good time to dig into the whole overlined/overdrawn lip liner makeup trend, and give a short tutorial on how to achieve:

First, the idea of the overdrawn lip is really just a contouring and highlighting technique for the lips.

You’ll need a Dark colored lip liner pencil ( think hues of brown if your using a nude to pink shade lipstick), also you’ll need a matte lipstick, and some lip gloss in a similar or same color as the lipstick.

  • Prep the lip with some lip primer. Then, dust a little foundation over the lip, creating a canvas to being the contouring process.

    • Grab your dark colored lip liner and slightly trace along your natural lip line. Once you have done that, go back over the same line, with the pencil at a laid down angel and trace slightly above your natural lip line.
    • Now pull in the color, by shading in the four corners of the lip. Again, this is all about contouring the lip.

    • Now, go over the lip with the lipstick covering all areas of the lip, going slightly to the overdrawn line above the lips. For this to really work well, you want to make sure, you’re using a lipstick that really stands by it’s color. The lipstick works as a blender here.

  • Now, go over the lipstick with the lipgloss to highlight the lips and further drown out the brown of the pencil.

This look will instantly give you a set of plumped sexy lips, just like Beyonce.  All without a single needle ever touching your puckers! #YESPLEASE

Now if there was only a tutorial to achieve that Gucci “Modern Future” Brocade drawstring pregnant Bey is rocking:(

gucci_modern_future_brocade

 

#TackleItTuesday: Finding The Motivation To Get Summertime Fine

Weren’t we just toasting in the New Year! Well, here we are in the first week of May. Kinda feels like it snuck up on us, right?! Whether you ready or not, the summer is soon upon us. And one thing that doesn’t go with the summer, is a gut. If you haven’t started getting your summer time fine on yet, good news is that there is still time. Problem is, if you haven’t began yet, there a possibility that you’re a bit unmotivated. Well, here are six things that can help increase your level of motivation to jump on the ball in attaining your perfect summer body:

Fashion:

Unlike the colder months when you can pile on the layers to hide that battling bulge, the summer requires less clothes. And as if that weren’t enough, summer also means brighter clothes (no more slimming down that extra 5 with the all black everything look). The last thing you want this summer is to have to be limited in outfit options. Think of all the fly, cute clothes you want to wear this coming summer season, and maybe even put some cash to the side to treat yourself once you hit your fitness goal. Checking out sites like FashionNova, Boohoo, or Forever21 on the regs is enough to get any unmotivated HealthyUrbanGirl in full on BEAST mode.

 

All Things Girly:


Summer is the time to be the girly girl you know and love to be. In addition to all the hot fashion options, there is also so many fun makeup, hair styles, accessories to try. It’s also a great time to show off your mani and pedi. Like I said all things girly. And there is no better way to be girly, than to be in your best fitness shape.

Plan A Trip( to the BEACH):


Nothing says summer like the beach. But when your body isn’t right, us ladies avoid the beach like the plague. Well, none of that this year. Plan your beach trip from now. Everything detail down to the last drop, from what you’ll be sipping on to what you plan on slipping into. Be realistic. If you know you have more than 50 pounds or so to lose, don’t plan on being in a 2 piece (unless you got the confidence to do so). Remember this is about being proactive, not punishing ourselves.

Funners:


Don’t be that friend in the summertime that never wants to go anywhere, because you’re feeling self conscious about your body. With so much outdoor activities, like pool parties, BBQ’s, concerts, and festivals to attend during the summer, get that summertime fine body going now, so when the girls call, you’ll be ready to go!

Health:


Good health should always be a motivator for getting into shape, not only in the summer months, but every season. However, the benefits of having good health in the summer months are endless. With the sun being hotter than normal, every activity that we do is intensified. Which means our heart and other bodily functions are working harder than normal. Being healthy will help us feel better, while we’re looking better.

Glow With Confidence:


There is nothing sexier than a woman with confidence. And there is no better time to exude confidence than in the summertime. Between the sun, the heat, and the moisture in the air, our skin, hair, and overall bodies love the summer. Being in prime fitness health, will help that effortless summertime glow go very far.

Recipe: Apple Walnut Salad

I love a tasty a salad. However, I can get boring with my salad options. Therefore, I am trying to venture out a bit and start trying to make some more daring salad recipes. Hence this recipe for Apple Walnut Salad. The nice thing about this salad is you can opt to have it with Chicken or not. totally, your choice.  The lovely part of this salad is the robust flavors that come together in perfect harmony. The dressing adds a ever so lovely zing to up the ante and amplify the taste.

You’ll need these ingredients (plus chicken breast, if you opt for it):

Add all ingredients for the salad in a bowl. The move on to the vinaigrette.

Then mix,

Enjoy.

 

 

INGREDIENTS
  • 8 cups chopped red leaf lettuce (about 1 large head)
  • 1 medium apple, cored and thinly sliced (I used gala apple)
  • ¼ cup thinly sliced red onions
  • ¾ cup walnut halves, toasted
  • ⅓ cup crumbled feta cheese
Vinaigrette
  • ⅓ cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • 2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
  • 1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
  • 2 tsp. honey
  • salt and fresh ground black pepper
INSTRUCTIONS
  1. In a large bowl combine lettuce, apples, red onion, and walnuts. Drizzle with the vinaigrette and toss to combine. Sprinkle with feta and serve immediately.
Vinaigrette
  1. In a small bowl, combine all the ingredients together and whisk until blended. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

Recipe from littlebroken.

5 Products That I Am LOVING Right Now + Coupon Code






I get really excited when I find a cool product. Not only because I get to add it to my regimen someway, but also because I get to share the perks with my HUG fam. Well, lately I have gotten to try some cool, (and not so cool, but that’s a convo for another day) products that most HealthyUrbanGirl’s would probably be interested in. I mean who isnt looking for another “thing” to add to their bag of #GlowUp goodies. I mean! 

As always some of these products are sponsored, but yall should know by now, no one can buy my opinion baybeee!! So we keeps it real around these parts:

The first product, is really a subscription service of the sorts. Now, before you get all aggy, and think ‘not another subby service’, hear me out here. If you’re a mom, how often have you said to yourself, “gosh, I wish I could just get a box of healthy snacks delivered to my home every month?”. Well, your mommy prayers have been answered, through a company call GREAT Kids Snacks.

Great Kids Snack ships 30 different individually-wrapped snacks
that have been kid-tested and Nutritionist-approved; which promote healthy energy for physical activity. Not bad for the monthly price tag of $39.95, or $45.95 for a Gluten -Free Snack box.

Here is the real deal, you and your kids are probably not going to love all the options included (there was one bar that I’m sure was actually bird food, but if you like sesame seeds you might disagree). However, there are enough snack options for the little ones packed into the box for them to pick, choose and refuse.  Also, it gave my picky little ones an opportunity to try snacks they probably never would have otherwise tried, and thereby realized they actually liked!!  Full disclosure, there was a Chocolate, Nougat and Nut bar, from a company called Nelly’s Organics, that I smuggled for myself, and no lie that bar was THE  BEST!! Think snickers, but without all the guilt.

The Great Kids Snack Box, is a good subscription option for parents looking for a easy and affordable way to keep healthy snack options in the house on the regs.

Head over to GREAT Kids Snack Box, now and choose your box.

HUG: GreatKidsSnackBox

Next, is a product that I was a little weary of.

HUG: LayzieGear

How many girls in here are comfy wearing baseball hats? I certainly wasn’t. I tend to like the look on other girls, but just didn’t think I could pull it off myself. Well, when the cool folks at Layzie Wear sent me a Bone Thugs N Harmony hat, how could I not rock it. The ‘hat to the back’ look is a instant cool accessories for not so good hair days. Paired with my fave skinnies, a denim shirt and red lippie, no one knew your girl was having a bad day!!!  I’m ordering the leather version, which will be a nice accent to my all black everything look. Layzie Wear is where you’ll find all official Bone Thugs N Harmony gear. Layzie was my fave Bone, just for the record, and it was fun paying homage with this cute hat!

HUG: LayzieGear

Head over to LayzieGear for all your official  and authentic Bone Thug Gear.

Product-Review-Tomson-edge-control2

Edges are important. Properly laid edges are the holy grail. And that brings us to our next fave product; Lux By Jace Edge Control with Jamaican Black Castor Oil. This product delivers in all the areas, that edge control needs to deliver. It lays the edges effortlessly, leaving behind NO white residue!!!! And it smells amazing. To boost, this edge control is infused with Jamaican Black Castor Oil, which promotes hair growth, and doesn’t kill our coveted edges (which we work all to hard to play with by using some wack product!!). If you are like me and have tried your share of edge control products, I can promise you that this one will become if not your absolute fave, it will be in your top three.  If you are a natural like myself, you know it is hard to find a edge control that holds for the entire day, well this over delivered.

HUG::BossLady

Priced under $11, LuxByJace Edge Control is definitely a must have for us HealthyUrbanGirl’s that strive for healthy hair! Pick you up some!!

HUG::LuckyFox

With Mother’s Day right around the corner, this next item is a good gift contender. I love jewelry, and shiny jewelry is always a good look. The Abour Ladyrosian Jewelry Company is a premium brand for fashion jewelry with Swarovski Crystals. The jewelry company carries unique and fashionable pieces for any occasion. We were sent the “Lucky Fox” love necklace;  a beautiful 3-D blue colored Swarovski Crystal pendant, hung from a silver chain. The fox is said to give good luck, which makes this necklace only more funners. The shimmer of this necklace is unreal, especially for only $29.99.

HUG::LadyRosian Lucky Fox Necklace

Lastly, is a product that has been so kind to my skin:

iBeautyLabs Premium Gold Collagen Face Mask is a  24k gold collagen therapy face mask that deeply moisturizes your complexion, expel toxins and free radicals and make your skin smooth. After one use you instantly see a glow in your skin. Packaged with 5 mask, the overall results should definitely lead to better skin quality. Try it out here or go to Premium Face Mask, and apply special coupon code BIGFAN50, to receive 50% off.

 






Fashion: Tribal African Culture Inspired Swimwear BFyne

Currently embedded in the back of all of our minds, is that swimsuit season is soon upon us. The pressure is real. However, fly swimsuit line BFyne is serving much inspiration with their line of swimwear.

bfyne-swimwear3

The culturally inclusive swimwear line designed by Nigerian- American  Buki Ade, gives an undeniable nod to African culture through their choice of prints and design concept.

bfyne-swimwear

For 2017, Bfyne has released an ambitiously innovative  line of swimwear. With strategic cut outs, long sleeves, structured bodice, and high neckline; the Bfyne 2017 line is in one word: sexy! With vibrant colors and strong patterns inspired by trends of West Africa, the swimwear line is sure to make you standout for all the right reasons.

bfyne-swimwear2

Sizes range from small to large.

Shop the BFyne line here.

 

#TackleItTuesday: 5 Tips For Spring Cleaning

Spring has sprung, and after this last leg of old man winter that dumped over 4 feet of snow in my area,  I am welcoming Spring with arms wide open. But now that the sun will be shining extra bright, it will surely reveal all the indiscretions that the grey gloomy sky’s of the winter hid. So, it’s time to roll up our sleeves and get busy with the Spring Cleaning duties.

Here are some handy tips to make Spring Cleaning all the more effective:

Cleaning the Refrigerator:

inside-fridge

A new season upon us means, a new eating plan. In the winter we crave comfort food. In the Spring, we  should begin eating lighter and fresher. First empty the fridge, and remove all the contents. Decide if you’re going to dump that bottle of mayo, or keep that container of vegan butter. If your contents are a little dirty on the outside containers, wipe them down.  Remove the drawers, and shelves and wash separately with warm water and soap. Wipe off  the walls and back of fridge with one part water, one part vinegar solution. Dry the drawers and shelves off and return them to the fridge along with the other contents. Clean the outside of the fridge.

Cleaning the Closet:

closet

Cleaning out the closet for Spring Cleaning, can be complex. It requires good judgement, and the removal of emotional attachment. Easier said then done, right? Well here are some pretty basic questions you should be asking yourself when you hit that ‘keep it or chuck it’ dilemma:

Does it fit? (Not will it fit in a few months or after I lose these 15 pounds; does it fit now? )If not, chuck it or donate it.

Will I ever wear this again? If not, chuck or donate.

Lastly, if it is damaged, is it repairable at a reasonable cost to you?

Now that you have removed all the unnecessary clutter from your closet, it time to organize the remaining items. It helps to have all hangers facing the same direction. For clothes and other items that won’t be used daily, utilize storage bins such as this one:

If you have a load of shoes to organize, consider investing in a few clear shoe-boxes like this:

Dusting:

The dust builds in the winter. Even if you have been keeping up with the daily dusting  routine during the winter months, you’ll see that there were spots missed. Use a microfiber cloth to remove the tiniest of dust mites. For hard to reach spots, grab am extended dust stick like this one:

Shining the Windows:

window_cleaning

Remove any build up of dust from around the corners and window sill, with a brush or broom. Now grab a sponge and a little soapy water (the fewer suds the better), and wash the window. Now wipe away the excess water with a squeegee, using a reverse S pattern, from top to bottom. Using old crumpled newspaper, buff the window for optimal shine!

Mattress:

mattress

During the winter months, your mattress endured a lot. It’s where you laid, when you were hit with the flu and more. This is a great time to disinfect it and remove all the dead-skin that has accumulated. Start by removing the linens and toss in the laundry. Let the mattress sit and air for a little while. Toss some baking soda on the mattress, and grab an upholstery vacuum  like the one below, and suck up the baking soda.

For lasting fresh scent, add scented dryer sheets to the mattress before placing the fitted sheets  or mattress cover back on.

 

Dope! Beyonce Facetimes A Fan Battling Stage Four Cancer [Video]

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beylite) on


There is power in numbers in social media.

Just ask Ebony Banks; a teen bravely battling a rare form of stage four cancer.  After spending most of her Senior year of High School in the hospital, fighting  for her life; her local school district decided to throw a special early graduation ceremony just for Ebob -as she is affectionately called at the hospital-  earlier this month. After her kind classmates at Alief Hasting Highschool in Houston , Tx  got wind that EBob’s  wish was to meet the pop star, whom she idolizes, they decided to give Ebony the ultimate graduation gift, and  took to social media to light up the internet with the hashtag: #EBOBMEETSBEYONCE; hoping to grab the Queen Bey’s attention.

We started hashtagging it, tagging people we tagged the news. Mostly we tagged Beyonce we wanted to get her attention [……], said Shanya McKnight, senior at Alief Hastings and friend to Ebony Banks.

After much tagging, sharing and re-sharing  their little plan worked, and by Wednesday afternoon, Ebony was on Facetime with her idol, Beyonce. In the exchange posted on social media, you can hear Ebony telling Bey she loves her, and the sentiment is returned by the star, telling her fan “Love you too”: 🙂

A post shared by Beyoncé (@beylite) on

Ebony Banks is being treated at MD Anderson Cancer Center. Our thoughts and prayers are with her and her family. Kudos to Beyonce- pregnant with twins- for taking time out her busy schedule to show the brave teen some love!

 

Product Review: Finesse Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner

Cute hair is a game changer! That’s right, having a dope doo will instantly give any girl a  #GlowUp.  However, maintaining that dope doo is key. I am an advocate for not only good looking hair, but also and most paramount, healthy hair. Therefore, the quality of the hair products used to maintain fly hair, should uphold the integrity of good ingredients,  so to promote healthy happy hair.

HealthyUrbanGirl.com was given a cool opportunity to try out a couple of hair products; to see how they would fair for our readers, and social media audience. This is a #sponsored post, but make no mistake, I holds no bars!

The hair care product, is  possibly already apart of your hair care and maintenance repertoire already; Finesse Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner; which promises to restore and strengthen the hair through a unique formula:

We’ve created a unique formula with active silk an soy proteins that penetrate deep into the hair shaft to help restore and strengthen hair that’s damaged, dry or just straight up damaged. With these ingredients, hair is replenished with natural moisture leaving hair healthier, stronger, and more alive. – finessehaircare.com

Product-Review-bb-finesse

With such claims, I could not wait to try this product out. A few things to keep in mind:  I am a black girl, with black girl, natural curly, kinky hair. Also, I normally stay away from hair products laden with ingredients I can not pronounce. Finesse is the kind of shampoo and conditioner you’re likely to find at your local drugstore, priced under $5 per bottle. Not bad for a brand backed by Kendall Jenner, who dubbed the hair washing duo her favorite. I say that all to say, as a natural girl, it’s not easy to find quality Shampoo and Conditioner at a drugstore, that isn’t riddled with not so nice ingredients, that do more harm than good to my hair. Not to mention, me and Kends, kind of have different hair types. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Optimism well intact, I dove in.

Product-Review-bb-finesse3

So on my wash day I retrieve my cute little box of  the Moisturizing Shampoo/ Conditioner duo that was shipped to me from the fine folks at Finesse.  And I read, the label. Yes I read labels!

Not TOO many unpronounceable’s (ingredients), but there are some. Not enough to make me weary to lather up my natural, kinks in it.  Water was the first ingredient mentioned on the ingredients list, which is always a step in the right direction for a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner.

Next, was my smell test. Both the Shampoo and Conditioner smelled just as you’d imagine Shampoo and Conditioner to smell. There was nothing special to report about the smell. Also, nothing bad to report about it.

Now about how they work on the hair once applied:

The shampoo lathers really nicely. The consistency is not too watery, therefore, you don’t require a whole lot to get a nice build up of suds. The highlight of use that I noticed in my use of the moisturizing Shampoo was how soft it left my hair after I rinsed it out. Normally, shampoo strips the hair of natural oils and moisture, therefore leaving it feeling quite lifeless, and stiff. Not Finesse Moisturizing Shampoo; it actually does the opposite. My hair was so soft after I shampooed, that I wondered if I needed to condition it at all.

Purchase your own Finesse Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner at Walgreens or Walmart.

After much thought, I proceeded to condition, with the Finesse Moisturizing Conditioner. While the conditioner is a little thicker than the Shampoo, I found that I needed more of it to actually feel the difference in my hair strands. While I was in the midst of conditioning I was not very impressed with the softening/moisturizing qualities. It was not until after I rinsed the conditioner off my hair, that I realized how SOFT it actually did make my hair.

My hair felt weightless,  smelled fresh and clean. 

I would say that Finesse Moisturizing Shampoo and Conditioner are a good way to go, for drugstore hair care products. The results are lasting and come at a bargain when you think of the cost versus what you actually get in exchange.

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