Ohhhhh Valentine’s Day.
The day we give and receive love by way of cute heart-shaped cards, delectable rich chocolates, and such. We embrace the idea of showering our loved ones with treats to say ‘ I love you’.
However, even on a day like today, when it should be all about real love, there are those who will smile in your face, and the whole time they wanna take your place- showering you with fake love. (Pardon the Drake reference). I find that these days, it’s getting harder and harder to differentiate between the real and the fake love. I guess that means the fake people have gotten really good at their jobs. People will literally, smile in your face- out one side of their mouth, and talk about you in your face- out the other side of their mouth; all at the same time. It’s just the times we live in.
Here are some tips to help you read between the blurry lines of real love and fake love:
- You see it in their eyes:
The saying goes: the eyes don’t lie. That is so very true. When someone truly detests you, their eyes often shift and rarely make direct eye contact. If they do make eye contact, you can see the judgmental snare reflected in their eyes. Look closely, the eyes will tell you all you need to know.
- You hear the fake love in their tone:
Voice fluctuation is a tell-tell sign to determine how someone really feels about you. As humans, when someone excites us or makes us happy, our vocal cords will rise and fall in pitch, as we interact with that person. However, usually when someone is not that into you, they are very monotone in speech. It’s almost seems like it is taking everything in them to have a conversation with you; and that’s probably because it is.
- You feel the fake love in their energy:
How someone makes you feel is key. If someone is genuine and means you well, their energy will uplift you. However, if you feel drained and heavy around that person, that’s a sign for caution. Go with your energy always.
- Body Language:
When speaking with someone who you think may be showing you fake love, look at their body language. Are their arms closed off? Do they keep a healthy distance? Are they shifted away from you? If any of this rings true, there is a good chance that person is not being genuinely engaging. Keep a watchful eye on them.
- You enter the room, and everyone becomes quiet:
You know that awkward feeling; you enter a room and it all of a sudden becomes eerily quiet. You know instinctively that everyone in that room was just talking about you. But as soon as you walk in, they all smile in your face. If they can’t say it to your face, the love is fake. Period.
- Everything seems forced, and not genuine:
This goes back to energy. If someone can’t be genuine in how they interact with you, or in the way they show you love, the love is fake.
- They never congratulate you:
Haters, never want to see you grow. They never really want to see you advance in life. And they have a hard time hiding it. Chances are the mere reason someone who is showing you fake love, remains in your life, is to see you stumble. When you fly, instead of fall, it eats them alive, and they can’t bring themselves to offer a kind or encouraging word. So pay attention to who applauds when you win, and who remains mute.
- They throw passive aggressive jabs:
The phonies, make underhanded comments with a smile and in a play-play tone, to water it down; however make no mistake, they are giving you a glimpse into how they really feel.
- People who really love you, are weary of them:
Your tried and true loved ones tend to see in others what we won’t allow ourselves to see. They can see that someone has ill motives and intentions. If you have two friends that butt heads, it’s usually because your ride or die friend or family member can see that fake love clearly, in the other friend. Maybe it’s time you open up your eyes also.
Keep in mind most often when people show fake love, is because they wanna take your place. Or put more eloquently, they envy you because they see something in you, they lack in themselves. Understanding this, perhaps means there is reason to be sympathetic to those who suffer from this lack of being genuine and real. Just keep in mind, while they’re hating or spreading that fake love- it’s them, not you! The best thing you can do is continue to move graciously through life, and lead by example by spreading real authentic genuine love.